If wishes were fishes, hunting in a wishing well would be shooting fish in a barrel.
If wishes were my advice, we wouldn't have an overpopulation problem.
If wishes were cell phones, I'd have one.
If wishes were songs with the 1-5-6-4 chord progression, I would go insane.
If wishes were rips in the fabric of the time-space continuum, I would be my own uncle.
If wishes were monkeys banging on typewriters, the big bang theory still wouldn't be plausible.
If wishes were the letter "T," Sesame Street would be a little more predictable.
If wishes were your face... anyway.
If wishes were the best possible response to the question, "does this make me look fat?" I might date more.
If wishes were stale butter, I wouldn't wish for things.
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If wishes were corn chowder, I still wouldn't understand why anything but clams deserve to have a chowder made out of them.
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