I picked the perfect time to start blogging!

Why?

Because I'm so emotional lately.

Why?

Because of everything that's happened to me lately.

Why?

You ask a lot of questions, buddy.

To put it in a nutshell that it does not deserve and that cannot possibly contain everything that has transpired within the last few years to bring me to this point... God has been doing a lot in my life. It came to a head during senior speeches at Regionals, and, in typical God fashion, it came to a second head last night.

I invited about a dozen people to come judge at the NCFCA Regional Tourney, and only one of them actually came - my youth pastor, Jared. He's awesome, and I knew he'd come. He was only able to come the last day, though, so he didn't have to judge. So he followed me around for hours as I went back and forth from room to room, supposedly to compete in three different events at once. (Remember when Mrs. Hudson talked about how nobody was going to have to do that? I was the "maybe one" person she conceded to.) It took forever and a round, but I finally got through all of my events and Jared was able to see all of them.

After watching my dramatic, he caught me outside the room and told me he would like me to perform it on Sunday night after he gave the message. A chance to take my skillz outside of competition? Yes, thanks! So I did. After I finished, Jared came back up onto the stage and I could see tears in his eyes. "Every time I see that speech..." he began.

My initial reaction was, "Yeah! I got somebody to cry!" I know that shouldn't always be the goal of a DI, but I consider it a great acheivement whenever I, a funnyman, get people all emotional.  I was feeling mighty fine until I heard the words that followed from my pastor's mouth:

"...I think, there are so many people out there who are more broken than I am."

It wasn't about me. Not one bit. Suddenly I felt smaller than small. Suddenly I wasn't even there. Then people started turning towards me and clapping for my performance. Oh, come on. Don't do that. Don't even start.

I understood a little bit more what God wants me to do. In that room, no one was critiquing my speaking. Nobody was checking my memorization or judging my characterizations. They were simply drawn into the story, and God was speaking to them through my words and my actions. People started thinking about the thing I always had to remind myself I was speaking about - the persecuted church.

Jared wasn't crying because of what a moving speech I had given. He was crying because of what I was speaking about. God had used me and I hadn't even realized he was doing it. I was too busy thinking about how I was "moving up" and "expanding" and how God had "opened a door". I hadn't even considered why God had opened the door. I assumed it was so people could marvel at the fantabulous communication skills I had honed for the past 5 years. Nope. God had opened a door for an infinitely more important reason.

So God is working in me, and when he works in me I get emotional, and when I get emotional. Hence the post.

I've been wondering, what's wrong with emotion? Being a teenager, I know I'm a little biased right now. But the only danger I can see in emotion with our relationship with God is that we can start seeking him for the emotion, or, to put it a different way, we can start getting emotional for the sake of how cool it feels to get emotional. Goosebumps, et cetera. But emotions, at least for some of us, follow naturally from a true love relationship. It can also be an outward sign of that relationship to a world wondering why we're different. It shouldn't be the only sign, but it's a valid one, I think.